Dark Shadows Diary: Episode 9

Episode 9: "Goblins"
July 7, 1966

Joe Haskell got dumped in this episode. He just doesn't know it yet.

Carolyn, who didn't opt for the Loyalty proficiency back at Level 1, found out the handsome stranger who intervened in the bar fight she indirectly started back in episode 2 was none other than Burke Devlin. Even though she's been warned repeatedly that Devlin is up to no good, she immediately takes an interest in him.

Carolyn slips away from Collinwood to "mail a letter," which translates to "I want Burke Devlin to lick me like a stamp." Actor Mitch Ryan must have been otherwise occupied, because neither of his two visitors at the Collinsport Inn lay eyes on Burke Devlin this episode. Regardless, it doesn't stop Carolyn from wistfully ruminating how Devlin threatened to "paddler" her the previous night.

While not getting hot and bothered by surrogate father figures, Carolyn goes all Lydia from BEETLEJUICE, reminding Victoria of the women who tossed themselves off Widow's Hill. She not only contradicts later versions of this tale (again saying Josette was married to the "madman" who built Collinwood, and that the women were all governesses) but her own story, as well. She says three women leapt to their deaths, and that a "third" was predicted to join them. This is what happens when you homeschool, ladies and gentlemen.

Burke's other visitor was local busybody Bill Malloy. If Liz knows more than she's letting on, Malloy knows significantly less. He's got enough suspicions to independently power an Oliver Stone movie, but he doesn't have anything resembling a fact. Devlin turns him away at the Inn, leaving Malloy to press Liz for answers. He has about as much success as anyone else.

"Burke went to prison because he committed a crime," Liz declares, again omitting one small detail: What the HELL was Burke convicted of? I've got to wonder if the writers had figured that detail out by this point, because it seems like an important omission.

A lot of this episode is spent recapping the events of previous episodes, mostly for the benefit of characters who missed the action. Keep in mind that we're nine episodes in and less than 24 hours have passed, so a lot of repetitive exposition should be expected.

The informational chitchat between Liz and Malloy is interrupted by a knock at the door. Liz goes to answer it but finds nobody waiting for her outside, and a broken teacup in the hall. Malloy thinks the whole thing is weird, but Liz takes it in stride, saying it was the work of a poltergeist "named David." Yeah, Liz. That's REAL normal.