Dark Shadows Diary, Episode 33

Episode 33, "Drunk and Disorderly"
Aug. 10, 1966

Carolyn returns home to find her family in greater emotional disarray than ever before, thanks to David's bad behavior. Liz is brooding in the darkened drawing room, Victoria is alone in her room, David is locked safely in his, and Roger is getting drunk someplace where he won't accidentally have to take any responsibility for what's happened.

Naturally, Carolyn thinks this is the perfect time to demand her family apologize for accusing Burke of trying to kill Roger. Liz, a grand master of rationalizing any bad decision, tells Carolyn that Burke's lack of participation in Roger's wreck doesn't mean he's got the family's best interest at heart. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day (more often if you're willing to cross time zones with it.)

Joe's dealing with his own crisis by getting sloshed at The Blue Whale. Burke joins him (why?!) and hears Joe's tale of woe: his potential business partner in a new fishing venture has opted out. Just to rub salt in the wound, it's because his wife his pregnant. Did you hear that Joe, whose girlfriend won't marry him? SHE'S PREGNANT!

Poor Joe's future is drying up before his eyes. But, in a few years he's going to look back fondly on these days, especially after getting turned into Angelique's vampire bitchboy and taking a one-way trip to Wyndcliffe Sanitarium. For now, he's hurt that Carolyn is jerking him around, and decides to drunkenly barge into Collinwood to make his feelings known.

He drags Carolyn, Liz and Victoria into the drawing room for a reverse intervention. While spitting out dialogue as though he's going to vomit after every line, he tells Carolyn she's a coward who's going to wind up alone, like her mother. He's looking at Liz as he says this, just so everyone knows he doesn't men some other mother.

"It's a prison, Miss Victoria," he says. "You stay here and you'll be as nuts as the rest of them."

He then passes out on the couch. Victoria takes this as a cue to head into town, where she tracks down Burke at The Blue Whale.

Note: Harvey Keitel is in this episode uncredited as a Blue Whale patron. You can see him dancing in the thumbnail photo above.