Dark Shadows Diary, Episode 34

Episode 34, "Three's a Crowd"
Aug. 11, 1966

The episode begins where the last left off, with Victoria and Burke at The Blue Whale (though Vicky managed to change clothes since the last time we saw her.) They immediately get into a battle of almost-but-not-quite double entendres ... Victoria says "inches", "feet" and "miles" brought her to Collinsport, while Burke compares her to a chocolate malt and champagne. I had no idea what they were talking about, but it all sounded really dirty.

Speaking of dirty, Victoria insists on going back to Burke's hotel room to see the report on her that his private investigator prepared. She says she's not scared him, and Burke clearly wonders how far she'll go to prove that statement. He orders dinner to his room and asks if Victoria wants steak or lobster, which is 1966 code for "Ima get laid!"

Meanwhile, Joe Haskell wakes up at Collinwood and wishes he was dead. Carolyn is with him and in surprisingly good spirits despite his drunken assholery a few hours earlier. Carolyn warns him that he might have made an enemy of her mother, and then the two launch into the most realistic kiss in the show's entire run (though we might have REALLY seen something had they let Louis Edmonds and Anthony George go at it.)

Joe heads straight from Collinwood to The Blue Whale, where he learns Devlin paid his bar tab. He then goes to Devlin's hotel room to return the money and interrupts the impromptu date. Realizing this nugget of info is going to get back to her employer before lunch, Victoria cuts the date short and leaves. It's kind of sad that Victoria has to take the walk of shame without having actually done anything.

This is a Thursday episode, which are usually just prolonged efforts to stall the audience until Friday's weekend cliffhanger. Still, considering they've mostly resolved the "Who failed to kill Roger Collins" mystery, there's a lot happening between the characters in this episode ... which isn't easy to do once you've killed the plot point driving the series. (And by "resolved," I mean they know David was behind the car crash and plan to do nothing about it.)