COLLINWOOD COCKTAILS: The Crazy Jenny

 INSANITY. n. mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.


Are those voices in your head getting annoying? Looking for a reason to set something on fire that won't end in your immediate arrest? Looking for an exotic mixed drink that doesn't include many elements found in nature? Well, you're in luck! I've got a drink that will help you with all three of those problems!

Introducing THE CRAZY JENNY, a mixed drink loaded with tasty, tasty symbols of Collinwood's favorite pyromaniac, Jenny Collins. Much like committing murder, THE CRAZY JENNY is remarkably easy, but you'd better be prepared to live with the long-term consequences of your actions. Because Jenny will kick your ass so hard that your great-great-grandchildren will feel it.

Here are the ingredients:

• A 50 ml "mini" bottle = 1.7 oz EARLY TIMES "FIRE EATER" cinnamon-flavored whiskey
• A 50 ml "mini" bottle = 1.7 oz 99 BANANAS liquor
• A 50 ml "mini" bottle = 1.7 oz WHALER'S "KILLER" COCONUT rum
• Seltzer water
• 2 sugar cubes
• FIRE!!!!

Balance an absinthe spook over the mouth of a glass and place two cubes of sugar on the cradle. Slowly pour all three bottles of booze over the sugar cubes, wetting them. Once you've emptied the bottles, carefully set the cubes on fire. Keep a bottle of seltzer water on hand, and use it to slowly extinguish the flame as the sugar cubes melt. Stir the contents, using the seltzer to water the drink down (and I'd recommend using a LOT of seltzer.) Next, clear your schedule for at least three days and hang on to your proverbial nuts.