Who Said It: Victoria Winters or Evanescence?

By WALLACE McBRIDE

I come here not to bury Evanescence, but to ... well, praise is too strong of a word. Like might actually be pushing it, as well. What's less than hate? Tolerance? Sure. I tolerate Evanescence.

If the overwrought nu-metal band from the Bush era is remembered for anything, it's as an example of style over substance. And while the band certainly had style, it's a little unfair to claim it had nothing to say. It's just that the band's mopey, goth-tinged lyrics sounded as though they were written by a high school freshman who just figured out that the world kind of sucked. They weren't especially smart lyrics, but I was willing to give Evanescence the benefit of the doubt because the music was coming from a place of relative honesty. Also skewing the curve was that their contemporaries were such shit acts as Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit, Alien Ant Farm and a dozen other acts you've already forgotten about. Even Nickelback managed to (briefly) look good while standing next to those hosers.

It doesn't hurt that singer Amy Lee's lyrics also sound remarkably like the kind of purple exposition routinely given to Victoria Winters on DARK SHADOWS. (My inner child is a goth girl, so I'm drawn to this kind of weirdness whether I like it or not.) To prove my point, here are 10 examples of lyrics by Evanescence and/or lines of dialogue spoken by Victoria Winters. See if you can tell which is which.

1. "Tragedy has almost come, and the hidden echoes of the past are moving closer and closer."

2. "I'm frightened by what I see. But somehow I know that there's much more to come."

3. "Moonlight on the soft brown earth, it leads me to where you lay. They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home."

4. "Time has seemed endless and all I can do is sit and wonder if anyone will ever come to my rescue."

5. "Make me understand the lesson, so I'll find myself. So I won't be lost again."

6. "I haven't heard any screams yet. I guess that's not funny."

7. "I still remember the world from the eyes of a child. Slowly, those feelings were clouded by what I know now."

8. "I can only hope for the day when the tension around me will no longer exist."

9. "I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands. Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone?"

10. "The landscape of dreams is free of thunder and storms."

Victoria Winters: 1, 4, 6, 8, 10
Evanescence: 2, 3, 5, 7, 9